Elizabeths Blog

Thursday, June 24, 2004

i. love. life.

I LOVE LIFE I LOVE LIFE

I LOVE LIFE I LOVE LIFE
I LOVE LIFE I LOVE LIFE

I LOVE LIFE I LOVE LIFE
I LOVE LIFE I LOVE LIFE
I LOVE LIFE I LOVE LIFE!

I AM SO HAPPY I AM SO HAPPY I AM SO HAPPY I AM SO HAPPY I AM SO HAPPY AHH!!!!

Posted at 12:41 pm by stripped21
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Wednesday, June 23, 2004

messed up

so i am really sad. i havent written in my blog for a long time just cause things
have been really awesome for awhile...oh. man. today was the fucking worst day eveer.
FUCKING EVER. i AM serious just so sad...

first...last night was so fun at claires i mean i dont normally hang out with everyone
that was there but it was awesome thanks claire HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

am i the only one in this world who cant get any guy ever? like honestly. HONESTLY
jesus either people will fuck with my head and blow me off just for fucking fun...
or we're only friends. tight. being friends is nice...not when you're fucking madly in love
with them and you CANT DEAL WITH IT! i AM freaking out. like...im scared that if i am
by myself alone for too long i will annoy myself- that's not healthy...my friends
fucking support me but i cant do anything right i cant support myself i depend on
other people way too much it's pathetic. i am not worth living!

and i keep having just weird ass paranoid dreams shit. like, i'll dream about just
every single one of my friends...we'll be talking and having a good time and wahtever..
but then everything goes completly dark. i have just dark, black, rainy dreams where
everyone is trying to run away from me like i am some kind of sick virus no one
wants ot catch!!! i've had like 5 dreams about the guy i like...it always starts like this:
it'll sunny out and i am with at least one friend. i smile and wave and get really happy
cause i see him...then when he sees me he'll just BOOK. and i'll just run after him

five different dreams i dont know what the fuck they mean but i dont know
i need to MOVE ON is what i need to do. oh WAIT...i have fucking TRIED TO!

but i just get blown off. i seriously think i AM a disease haha oh god.
i just hate it...i like to think positively. i get myself so happy and my hopes get
so high....then everything always comes crashing down- always! fucking can't
name one thing that's happened to me for a long time that's good. i mean....
i have a lot of friends, a house, family, food blahblah.........SO WHY AM I SO
FUCKING DEPRESSED ABOUT GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JESUS!!!! i am just a spoiled
little bitch people throw fucking shit at me and i dont deserve it.
there is no one in this world. i will probably end up living in my mid 70's dying
of some brain tumor and my only friends are my 400 cats. i'll be known as the cat lady.
you know..everyone always knows SOMEONE who is known as the cat lady- who cant
even fucking keep track of all of them? i'll just be some clueless old hag and all the
neighborhood kids will throw rocks at my house and i'll come outside with a broom
and start yelling in german.

jesus. fucking. christ. if my life ends up to be like that....i will kill myself in 1 minute.

i am typing this and tears are in my eyes because i just looked out the window and
everything is gray. nothing is happy or sunny....it's probably all my fault! i've
probably made the sun leave because i walked outside today

oh shit bye

-liz

Posted at 07:20 pm by stripped21
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Friday, May 28, 2004

sorry!!!

omg i am a bad, bad person! i just havent written in here for SO long!
there's like nothing to say....at all though....just a boring. ass. life.

dylan yo bro yous comin homes tonight....yous bousta call me, bro.

okay seven days of school. minus monday, so thats six. then we have
popeye's in the park thats five, then the beach trip thats four, then
oaks park thats three! THREE DAYS OF SCHOOL LEFT!

JUST THREE! THREE! THREE! THREE! THREEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

holy SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ah i am confused but i dont want to type it cause someone wil
get angry every i do type it...damn ass public blog....oh well

okay more tomorrow i SWEEEEEEEAR i just have nothing to write about

i went shopping. got some pants. some shirts. some undewear.
yes. salllllly. haha underweeeeear! american eagle has gros
underwear right now, but i liked some and my mom was like,
"whatever i'll buy it for you its cheap" so she did. then my pants
were cheap cause the guy gave us a discount cause he wouldnt
return my othere pants...then i got some shirts.

wow. i am typing about like 2 things i got

I AM SPENDING FRIDAY NIGHT ALONE. SOMEONE SHOOT ME!
i should be with my friends. at a party. or at least watching
a movie.....son of a bitch

xoxo
elizabeth

Posted at 11:08 pm by stripped21
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Monday, May 17, 2004

complicated ass

things that make me very depressed:

those last few seconds in the shower, knowing you dont want to turn the hot water off, but you must.
waking up and realizing you overslept.
crying in front of the guy you like
having someone very intimitating watch you play a sport
someone getting offline without saying bye to you
walking up to your friends and KNOWING that they had just been talking about you
getting in fights with family...or friends
awkward moments in the car with your friends parents
ruining your favorite shirt or pair of pants
spilling something all over your carpet that you know wont come out
walking home without a coat when its freezing out
waking up in the middle of the night and thinking about a scary movie
slow computers
having nothing to wear
spending your money

okay that was NOT fun....here are some GOOD things though...

waking up and realizing you still have awhile to sleep
taking a hot shower
having the guy you like flirt with you back
winning a game
someone saying they love you before getting offline
walking up to your friends and KNOWING that they'd just said something nice about you
getting along with everyone
having funny conversations with your friends in the car
buying new clothes
dropping something, but catching it before it hits the ground
walking home with a fuzzy coat and a cd player
waking up in the middle of the night and thinking about something good that will happen tomorrow
fast computers
not knowing what to wear because you own so many clothes...wait....thats never happened to me before...
getting money

life....is.....complicated.....as......hell. in the end its worth it though....i just know. because then there would be no point to living, right? like....its so hard to explain....everyone. EVERYONE can think of something good that has happened to them, even if they think that the negative things over power the postive things...still...something good HAS happened to you...and just....i dont know. whenever i'm in a bad mood, or i feel pressured by school or a test or something....its just like WHO CARES!? it doesnt MATTER. i mean in the end, it might...but a test you failed? does. not. matter. ESPECIALLY in middle school...like, honestly. its confusing to think about, but it just helps me so much. yo uknow you only live once....why waste it worrying about shit that doesnt matter? i dont want to die not doing something with me life, instead i had been worrying too much about my grades, or my problems with my friends....NO! i will NOT let that happen to me! i dont care!!!!!

xoxo

elizabeth

Posted at 09:27 pm by stripped21
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Sunday, April 25, 2004

STUPID

AHHHHHH i had such a long entry and i hate blogs because it
got deleted.....that has happened to me SO MANY TIMES! i have to
repeat myself...

okay i am so sorry i havent updated my blog for SO long! i just got
sick of it lol

okay today was just a gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous day. summer is SO CLOSE!
i am READY FOR IT! no school or work or teachers or cold weather. just hot
hot hot sun and tans and new people and water fights and AAHHH!
i want it now! just totally kick it and party it up with every single person
alive...i swear whoever is reading this call me and we will hang out
awwww im just like "i want to get killed"

wait so no school work? PSYCHE! i hate social studies. thats all mcclain
assigns us too...unless its like a 456232 page like essay do in 2 days.
so....thats good....at least i dont have homework in all of my classes anymore.

during the middle of the year i just got so tired and so stressed out because
of all the work my teachers gave me...my mom was like "you will be so sorry
when you get to high school" and i was like "WHAT? mom! mr bright even
SAID he was giving us college work to do....I DONT GET IT" i got a C in
science, math and social studies....i thought i was getting all A's, but then
i got sick. son of a bitch. being sick is NOT FUN.
listen though....i had JUST gotten over having this like i dont know what it
was! just like high ass fever thing for 6 days straight....then a week later.
i get this like 48 hour stomach flu thing. immune. system. sucks.
haha maaan....so NOW I CANT HAVE ANY SLEEPOVERS FOR LIKE 2
MONTHS! its not MY FAULT i was sick....all m yfriends like spent the
night w/ each other and im just like "paaaaareeeennnnttttsss!"
i am complaing about SLEEPOVERS! what a boring, boring blog.

mmmm steak!

dylan are you ready for our wedding? cause you promised me you would
marry me. hart, you didnt. dylan did. miiiiiiissed out....because we are
going to play highway to hell in the background, im gonna wear those
overalls and that checkered shirt haha, a trucker hat, my nails will
be bright orange, and i will have a fat ass chunky ring. i wish i could
find a midget so they could be my flower girl...but i dont have the kind

of talent or time to find one...aww! im a good person oh and dylan

you have to wear bright red lipstick, okay? its GONNNA happen (the
shirts commmmmmmin off) haha oldest.

someone needs to shoot our coach in the face, so then we can just have
matt! he's so much better! eric was just like "i wont be there for the game
wendsday" and i was just like "awww really? DAMNIT!!! ................SIKE"
its getting better too....sike....sike......sike...psyche.

uhh time to go take a long. long. bath. my legs are just like "we are sunburned,
and soar from running." except i DIDNT RUN BECAUSE ERIC!
god naomi and i went to practice and we couldnt do anything because we
forgot our mouthguards! he was like "uh you can buy one from me for 2 dollars
but i need you to come prepared" and i was like "uhhh psyche...not
gonna happen..." so we just got to sit out. katy wade is best.

mwah
xoxo
elizabeth i mean...."saaandwhich"

Posted at 08:24 pm by stripped21
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Monday, March 15, 2004

what? shit? yes...

this world...it's a punishment! i must of done something horrible in a past life to
deserve so. much. pain. whyyy? cause i couldnt tell ya..im so sick of feeling
this damn ass emptiness, you know? no wait..you dont....because i make
no sense ever, what the fuck is going ON i hate feeling like complete shit
and nothing is right, everything is wrong i am so unhappy with my life..
what did i DO?!

okay well...im just going to pretend like everything is alright and smile and laugh
and maybe i can fool everyone...so i will talk about something good
or i'll try..

ok...the dc trip is in 3 days. fun. i can't wait.

who wants to scream with me? ready...one....two....three...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

okay, i don't feel better...

i will go....

me

Posted at 08:25 pm by stripped21
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Friday, March 12, 2004

my husband in 10 years. sally/naomi/me.

Okay, haha so DON'T think i just copied naomi for this, i am not that mean...lol
but naomi, sally and i DEFINITLY wrote these down earlier tonight...
kathryn, i had to change my list a bit, haha mine was a little to short...haha

The man I will marry must require all of the below:

1. has to believe in love at first sight
2. must be goofy AND serious
3. must be tall, but not too tall.
4. favorite color must be orange
5. must be a good kisser
6. plays guitar
7. can straddle (HAHA)
8. must BE GOOD WITH KIDS!
9. will be nice to my friends/family
10. has intense, deep eyes and doesnt look away when i look into them
11. is...straight
12. is good to me always
13. can be...male...haha
14. has money
15. knows how to massage (or give good messages haha sally: he's like OH YOUR FRIEND CALLED BY THE WAY, you: OHMIGOD YOU'RE PERFECT!) haa love you
16. tells you you're beautiful everyday
17. isnt afraid of loving you
18. is good AND bad
19. is reliable
20. has a good taste in music/movies/style/books...it goes on...
21. belives in fate
22. gets along with everyone
23. has a good sense of humor
24. won't cheat you
25. is. not. cocky.
26. spoils me
27. isn't scared of alcohol/KNOWS HOW TO PARTY! (haha KNOWS HOW TO ALCOHOL gooood times)
28. good teeth/breath
29. he HAS to smell good
30. isn't prude
31. can kill spiders for me....speaking of spiders there is a GIANT spider in my room and i REALLY want someone to kill it....now..
32. DOES NOT HAVE SPIKEY/SHORT HAIR..but isn't long and gross...but....short enough. lol
33. penis must be no smaller then 6 inches (yes. naomi.)
34. no man-boobs...
35. can make me laugh when im depressed
36. NO UNIS (uni 1....annnnd uni 2....GOOD)
37. good in bed....naomi.....er HAHA
38. can sing along to at least ONE spice girls song with me
39. is smart
40. romantic, but not cheesy
41. hot hands. thats all i will say.
42. loves me for me
43. says he loves me everyday (did i say that already?)
44. wants to talk about me, not him...but explains himself a lot (understand? cause i definitly just contridicted what i was saying...)
45. wraps his arms around me when im cold (movie. good....haha)
46. surprises me
47. kisses me all the time
48. can get embarressed
49. is artistic
50. isn't a flirt
51. NOT. A. POTHEAD>
52. isn't afraid of commitment
53. isn't busy...or just like has time for me
54. isn't afraid to sharpen it (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA)
55. allows me to pressure him into sex (AHHAHAHA)
56. nose (HA)
57. has good taste in presents hah
58. surprises me with things...
59. has a good laugh
60. looks into me eyes
61. speaks more then one language fluently
62. likes all kinds of music
63. when i cry, makes me feel good
64. kisses me in the right places (that. sounded. dirty...wait, it IS dirty..)
65. takes care of himself
66. glances at my boobs, DOESNT STARE (wait...theres nothing TO GLANCE AT...haha "THEY'RE SHRINKING!"..."shut up.")
67. won't say anything bad about the things i love
68. is sympathetic
69. accepts my goals
70. isn't afraid of PERIODS haha
71. won't pressure me (but I can't pressure HIM hah...not serious though...)
72. has nice shoes
73. readable handwriting
74. calls me
75. invites me over
76. has the name "hart" hahaha
77. says i smell good
78. can make cookies without being gay (AHHAHAHAHAHA SO. GLAD. NAOMI.)
79. is FIT (again. SO GLAD)
80. eats a lot
81. won't control me
82. isn't afraid of kissing me in public
83. is individual
84. isn't shy
85. is a best friend as well as boyfriend
86. won't smother me
87. "gimme some cuddle" HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
88. has light-brown leg hair (HAHAHAHAH)
89. doesn't talk to me like im STUPID
90. isn't kts dad in anyway (wow. okay NO OFFENSE TO YOU KT) ha
91. has good morrals
92. good smelling hair
93. hates the mall
94. not hard to shop for....wait....thats impossible....all guys are hard to shop for
95. sees the glass "half full"
96. or....is just optimistic about the world
97. has a good screen name haha
98. has nice lips
99. is an animal lover
100. or....is an...."amimal" HAHAHA

thats ALL I HAVE TO SAY...i am so glad that i spent a lot of time doing that...

hey....i KNOW my man is out there...he's just too stupid to SEE IT....cause we WILL GET MARRIED...

xoxo
elizabeth
MWAH!

Posted at 09:54 pm by stripped21
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Monday, March 08, 2004

monday? yeah..why do you EXSIST?

Umm...well i just want you all to know it's monday. no more words. just monday. i think that explains this ENTRY ENTRY IM ABOUT TO TYPE...

1. woke up EXTREMLY tired and NOT in the mood to get up

2. had. nothing. to. wear.

3. went to the dentist. i hate the dentist. floride? least favorite thing in the WORLD. wanna know the flavors i had to choose from? cause they were vanilla, chocolate and MARSHMALLOW...i was like wow. couldn't be more gross. if you're gonna have me put yucky stuff in my mouth, at least make it a GOOD FLAVOR..

4. went to school. mr mcclain is a bitch first period...thats all i can say

5. mr bright hates me? hmm...yeah

6. mr mcclain handed out SO MUCH WORK TO DO TODAY!

7. i was pmsing SO BAD today...i'd be happy for like 2 minutes...then i'd be like SHIT, why am i HAPPY?! nothing is good...

8. walked home with kayla. i love kayla.

9. no degrassi...thats for sure...

10. COULDNT FIND A DAMN BOARD FOR MY SCIENCE PROJECT...SO I HAD TO GO TO LIKE EVERY STORE EVER.....THEN TYPE UP MY ENTIRE SCIENCE PROJECT IN ONE NIGHT!

then....tomorrow....i have to wake up again. and start all over. god it's times like this when i just want someone to hold me, you know? it's not fair. when i did have a boyfriend...well one, it was evan...haaa...but plus i didnt FEEL like having a boyfriend then...i just wanted to get a 4.0 (wow. middle school...you are so easy, yet i failed at getting a 4.0 by A LOT...) and now when i want one so desperatly there is no one there for me. why is this? hmm...i couldn't tell you. i will have to make due with myself.

being alone could not be a WORSE feeling! when i'm alone i just get SO bored and just like full on have conversations with myself...(okay, i lied... i definitly don't have conversations with myself...) but i am so excited for spring break...just like nonstop kick-ass fun with a bunch of my favorite people ever...i'm so excited i can't stand it!

well...ummm.....it's bedtime by now

short blog? yeah...

xoxo
elizabeth

i love you all! tomorrow i don't want to get up. i really, really dont. i have to go to school...go home as fast as possible for my piano lesson (i have fucking TWO THIS WEEK...) then go to choir THEN finish my science project and all of my other lame ass homework...

Posted at 10:54 pm by stripped21
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Monday, March 01, 2004

EWWWWWWW

ah what is going on with me? just like...today has been SUCH A BAD DAY
i can't handle it! i feel DEPRESSED...or just like...really weird!

i told naomi this...but like i have just totally been feeling deep as hell
and like going beyond my basic problems, and thinking about everything...
like why are we REQUIRED to go to school, get an education, get a job,
have money, get married, blahblahblah...you only have ONE LIFE...why should
we waste it waiting for the weekend? i mean...i don't know about you....wait fuck that
i DO know about you...EVERY TEENAGER EVER counts down the days until
friday...which is a waste of TIME! think about it...why do we have to waste
so much damn time thinking "yes...its wendsday...only two more days
until friday..." i don't want to think like that anymore, i don't think i CAN
think like that much longer until i get fucking SUICIDAL! (k....definitly not
suicidal...haa) but if i keep doing the same thing over and over and over,
i am just going to one day CRACK and be a mess...and i dont know...
have you ever just had those days (or like WEEKS in my case..) where
you just think about things WAY over your head? and you just get this insane, intense
feeling inside your tummy? i don't know what it is...like fear or what...because
i am scared of HELL as getting older and death, and seeing my future...it's fucking

SCARY! i fear death more then spiders (and...no TRUST ME...it takes a LOT
for me to be scared of something MORE then spiders...wow i sound like such
a girl...)

seriously though...i just like went in my room today and cried for like a half an hour
because i have just been thinking about just SCARY things, and why we have to
do what we have to do! i dont know if its just me breaking down, or i am just
going crazy...but i have just been REALLY scared! i am sick of having to deal with
my grades, homework, boys, friends, my body, my hair, my sleep, trying to look
cool, money, my future, my peers as HELL, my family, food, clothes, my skin, time,
the world slowly dying...i sound like MR BRIGHT! ahh god...i have just totally turned
out to be everything i DONT WANT TO BE! i wish i were happy, i want to be
the happy person, you know? where i dont care about anything at all,
and i can be FREE OF EVERYTHING! but i CANT, i've tried and i CANT!
it's just like all this SHIT i've been through, and what so many people
expect of me...it's too hard! last summer, when i hung out with kati, my mom
just totally thought SO LITTLE OF ME..because of my choice of friends, i didnt
do anything BAD, she still just thought way less of me...and i hated it. no...
i HATED IT! i am just the opposite and its just not fucking fair! i have
NO LIFE AT ALL! i hate being this age! i mean its like i can dream, yeah,
but it's not like i can go out there and do it. you know? it's hard without
the money, the transportation, your friends behind your back (even though
i do have some friends TOTALLY feeling the same way i do...thank you SO
MUCH!) and..its just...i don't know what to do anymore...

someone please help me....for GODS SAKE! i am just not going to care
anymore...like other people can say the SHIT they want, cause i wont give a FUCK.
i am sick of everyone judging my every move...why do they care so much?
cause i COULDNT TELL YOU! yeah, morgan...you're a fucking DUMBASS...
yeah, i WEAR THE SAME PANTS MORE THEN ONCE A WEEK I DON'T FUCKING
CARE! I ONLY HAVE LIKE 3 PAIRS OF PANTS I FEEL COMFTERABLE IN....STOP
LOOKING AT MY PANTS AND CALLING ME UGLY, A BITCH, A FUCKING WHATEVER..
YOU ARENT A GOOD PERSON, DEAL WITH IT! DON'T BRING IT OUT ON ME, WHEN
YOU'RE JUST MAKING ME FEEL LIKE SHIT! I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU...BUT
WHEN YOU TRY TO SAY SOME MEAN ASS SHIT YOU DON'T KNOW HOW CLOSE
I AM TO CRYING....LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE, PLEASE! IF YOU SAY ONE MORE
THING TO ME...YOU WILL GET KICKED IN THE BALLS AND YOU WON'T BE STRONG
ABOUT IT...BECAUSE I AM WAY STRONGER THEN YOU! FUCK YES...I HAVE HELD ON
TO SO MUCH SHIT FOR SO LONGER THEN YOU SO DON'T COMPLAIN TO ME EVER

I AM SICK OF HAVING SOMETHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT!!! i can just TELL so many people say " OH ELIZABETH, YOU COMPLAIN TOO MUCH, YOU ONLY CARE
ABOUT YOURSELF BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH" but its not like i WANT to complain,
it is just my way of letting things OUT...i can't hold everything inside, and i love
EVERY PERSON WHO IS READING THIS if they can do that, like..i ENVY YOU AS HELL..
i wish i didnt have to complain....but if i didnt i WOULD NOT BE ME...understand?

emma: i know there are people better then me, and i know there are people worse
then me, so i was just like what the hell...i don't care -not your exact words, but
they still made me happy :) mwah

i am goign to take a long, hot shower and try to reconnect with my life

xoxo
elizabeth

Posted at 10:01 pm by stripped21
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Thursday, February 26, 2004

thursdays are best

heyyyy

yes it is thursday, i am so happy! tomorrow is friday!! i have a lot of homework, but
oh well...because it doesnt matter....this weekend elizabeth will be a ho!!! yesssss

when will any guys at ALL be interested in me? hmm...cause i hate all guys for
being bitches

yeah so i have tried to make like 245 blog entries...but i always end up having nothing
to say because i am bored, my life is boring....and reading this is probably REALLY boring
for all of you right now...

okay homework time.

what???? shortest entery there has ever been in blog existance..haa blog existance..

xoxo

liz

ps 365 days a year, twenty four hours a day 7 days a week...from am to pm...
wait why am i LISTENING TO THAT SONG?!

Posted at 07:08 pm by stripped21
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