Entry: complicated ass Monday, May 17, 2004



things that make me very depressed:

  1. those last few seconds in the shower, knowing you dont want to turn the hot water off, but you must.
  2. waking up and realizing you overslept.
  3. crying in front of the guy you like
  4. having someone very intimitating watch you play a sport
  5. someone getting offline without saying bye to you
  6. walking up to your friends and KNOWING that they had just been talking about you
  7. getting in fights with family...or friends
  8. awkward moments in the car with your friends parents
  9. ruining your favorite shirt or pair of pants
  10. spilling something all over your carpet that you know wont come out
  11. walking home without a coat when its freezing out
  12. waking up in the middle of the night and thinking about a scary movie
  13. slow computers
  14. having nothing to wear
  15. spending your money


okay that was NOT fun....here are some GOOD things though...

  1. waking up and realizing you still have awhile to sleep
  2. taking a hot shower
  3. having the guy you like flirt with you back
  4. winning a game
  5. someone saying they love you before getting offline
  6. walking up to your friends and KNOWING that they'd just said something nice about you
  7. getting along with everyone
  8. having funny conversations with your friends in the car
  9. buying  new clothes
  10. dropping something, but catching it before it hits the ground
  11. walking home with a fuzzy coat and a cd player
  12. waking up in the middle of the night and thinking about something good that will happen tomorrow
  13. fast computers
  14. not knowing what to wear because you own so many clothes...wait....thats never happened to me before...
  15. getting money

life....is.....complicated.....as......hell. in the end its worth it though....i just know. because then there would be no point to living, right? like....its so hard to explain....everyone. EVERYONE can think of something good that has happened to them, even if they think that the negative things over power the postive things...still...something good HAS happened to you...and just....i dont know. whenever i'm in a bad mood, or i feel pressured by school or a test or something....its just like WHO CARES!? it doesnt MATTER. i mean in the end, it might...but a test you failed? does. not. matter. ESPECIALLY  in middle school...like, honestly. its confusing to think about, but it just helps me so much. yo uknow you only live once....why waste it worrying about shit that doesnt matter? i dont want to die not doing something with me life, instead i had been worrying too much about my grades, or my problems with my friends....NO! i will NOT let that happen to me! i dont care!!!!!

xoxo

elizabeth

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