have you ever just woken up and realized, "wow...my life is a complete waste of time...
if i can't do anything then why be ALIVE?"
cause that happened to me about a week ago and i'm just depressed.
if i can't do anything then why be ALIVE?"
cause that happened to me about a week ago and i'm just depressed.
it just feels like...i've been telling everyone my entire life but they dont care- i know
they do....but it just seems like they have their own shit to deal with- and i dont blame
them. i completly understand. i'm acting like a horrible friend, not a good person. all of my friends lives
are totally awesome right now and i feel like the only one who's depressed about
everything right now. oh wait...because i am! i don't know what's going on.
they do....but it just seems like they have their own shit to deal with- and i dont blame
them. i completly understand. i'm acting like a horrible friend, not a good person. all of my friends lives
are totally awesome right now and i feel like the only one who's depressed about
everything right now. oh wait...because i am! i don't know what's going on.
oh wait...
IT'S THE FACT THAT I AM SICK OF GETTING SO HAPPY, LOOKING FORWARD TO EVERYTHING...
THEN IT ALL COMES CRASHING DOWN FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR PAST THE
EARTHS CORE INTO HELL!!!!!!! it's not worth it....to be happy for like a few hours then
you call someoen back, and you realize...THEY DONT LIKE YOU....WHY ARE YOU DOING
THIS TO YOURSELF?! because guys make up so many excuses, thinking they're smooth
and that i will totally fall for it....but i pretend i do. i act like i dont know what's going on
but i totally do. i TOTALLY, DEFINETLY do. if i ever fall in love it'd better as hell last for
a long time. think about it...if i get extremly upset over this- what will i do if some guy
totally crushs me again?
IT'S THE FACT THAT I AM SICK OF GETTING SO HAPPY, LOOKING FORWARD TO EVERYTHING...
THEN IT ALL COMES CRASHING DOWN FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR PAST THE
EARTHS CORE INTO HELL!!!!!!! it's not worth it....to be happy for like a few hours then
you call someoen back, and you realize...THEY DONT LIKE YOU....WHY ARE YOU DOING
THIS TO YOURSELF?! because guys make up so many excuses, thinking they're smooth
and that i will totally fall for it....but i pretend i do. i act like i dont know what's going on
but i totally do. i TOTALLY, DEFINETLY do. if i ever fall in love it'd better as hell last for
a long time. think about it...if i get extremly upset over this- what will i do if some guy
totally crushs me again?
i dont want to think about it.
today in the car....my mom knew something was wrong- she kept asking me what was up,
why i wasnt talking, why i was frowning, why my eyes looked all watery....it went on for
a LONG time...and i would respond, "god mom im OKAY i am OKAY dont worry about it"
but she wouldnt give it up. it took SO much just to smile....i dont get it. how come it takes
so much for me to do something so small- something i do about a thousand
times every day?! because a guy. crushed. my heart. into a billion trillion zillion pieces
and i cant fucking live without my heart! what will i do guys...
today in the car....my mom knew something was wrong- she kept asking me what was up,
why i wasnt talking, why i was frowning, why my eyes looked all watery....it went on for
a LONG time...and i would respond, "god mom im OKAY i am OKAY dont worry about it"
but she wouldnt give it up. it took SO much just to smile....i dont get it. how come it takes
so much for me to do something so small- something i do about a thousand
times every day?! because a guy. crushed. my heart. into a billion trillion zillion pieces
and i cant fucking live without my heart! what will i do guys...
i'm trying to think of something good. tryingtryingtryingtrying.
well i get to go to new york in a few weeks....fun....what good is new york when you're
not happy? i dont think i'll be happy by then- it will take a fucking LOT to get me happy
i'm not kidding. i need a fucking miracle.
i can't cry anymore it's all gone and i dont even have that strong, happy feeling you get
after you have a good cry. this wasn't a normal cry you guys im serious, i was just literally
beating myself up...i was just pulling at my hair and trying SO HARD to figure out what i did
to deserve it!!!!!!
ha. i hope no one is reading this- they will just think im an insane piece of shit with no life
and that i need some serious help and im just doing it for attention.
oh man
-liz
well i get to go to new york in a few weeks....fun....what good is new york when you're
not happy? i dont think i'll be happy by then- it will take a fucking LOT to get me happy
i'm not kidding. i need a fucking miracle.
i can't cry anymore it's all gone and i dont even have that strong, happy feeling you get
after you have a good cry. this wasn't a normal cry you guys im serious, i was just literally
beating myself up...i was just pulling at my hair and trying SO HARD to figure out what i did
to deserve it!!!!!!
ha. i hope no one is reading this- they will just think im an insane piece of shit with no life
and that i need some serious help and im just doing it for attention.
oh man
-liz