it's just like...you know how in corny teen movies things in the beginning get fucked up,
even more fucked up in the middle, then in the end everything is perfect? well, when i get
upset i'm so used to telling myself, "you know what,it doesnt matter, it will all work out
no matter what..." but then things dont get better.
it's fucking annoying. i wish my life were a movie. i dont know...i was just EXPECTING things
would get a lot better....but what i need to do is stop assuming everything will be alright
and just realize i have to make the best of it, and my life isn't a fucking fairytale!
i literally did nothing at all today- i finally talked to him jesus CHRIST it took forever...like
five days of just blowing me straight off and not returning my phone calls...that's WHAT
GUYS DO! they lead you on- pretending like you have something- then they never call
you back, what the SHIT is that? do you think it turns girls on, you think we like it?
HELL FUCKING NO WE DONT! that's just what stress revolves around...
but heres what went down: we're supposed to "hang out" tomorrow...but i know we WONT...
this time i know so much better then to get myself pampered and excited, then at 4:00 pm
call on my cell phone for the last time wondering what happened to him...no. that's not what
will happen- what will happen is...i will wake up late, do whatever the fuck i want, thhhen
have HIM call ME..but it wont happen, so i'll probably end up calling him.
hahaha way to convince yourself to be strong, elizabeth. haaaa.....
ya like i dont know, i try to tell myself to do stuff- so in my mind it's totally put that i like one
person, when really...i dont...i just totally want them to hook up with. (that's what summer
is all about, so dont call me a fucking slut or whatever- i dont give a shit) but i know who
i really like.....i just need to move on as fast as possible before i get hurt even more...
i hate how i cant do what i want, with who i want, wear what i want to, and stay out
as late as i want to....know WHO CONTROLS IT ALL?....parents. yeah, whatever...parents
do a lot of stuff for me blahblah...but they also put my social life in fucking danger...haha
im serious, if my parents just LEFT the country for 4 months, i dont think you realize
how much more popular i would be- maybe for the wrong reasons- but i'd still have a lot
of highschool friends..i wouldn't have to worry about going to high school and being
scared, seeing a whole bunch of people i know- because all of the hot high school guys
that went to my mad everyday-at-elizabeths-house-partying-it-up-madly would know me!
oh my GOD i want my parents to leave....
my brother's could not be more fucking assholes. i swear JUST today this is what
john said to me:
"you're more of an ashlee simpson then jessica simpson, why do you WEAR that trucker hat?"
"go work out or something...saddlebags"
"you're like anorexic, why wont you eat anything?"
"you're depressed- go find some friends who want you"
"you're a slut, elizabeth"
just today. just fucking today. way to make me happy john patrick...
i need to go in my room and listen to some music and just think for awhile,
i hate being alone and yet i can't find myself leaving my house...
xoxo
-liz
call on my cell phone for the last time wondering what happened to him...no. that's not what
will happen- what will happen is...i will wake up late, do whatever the fuck i want, thhhen
have HIM call ME..but it wont happen, so i'll probably end up calling him.
hahaha way to convince yourself to be strong, elizabeth. haaaa.....
ya like i dont know, i try to tell myself to do stuff- so in my mind it's totally put that i like one
person, when really...i dont...i just totally want them to hook up with. (that's what summer
is all about, so dont call me a fucking slut or whatever- i dont give a shit) but i know who
i really like.....i just need to move on as fast as possible before i get hurt even more...
i hate how i cant do what i want, with who i want, wear what i want to, and stay out
as late as i want to....know WHO CONTROLS IT ALL?....parents. yeah, whatever...parents
do a lot of stuff for me blahblah...but they also put my social life in fucking danger...haha
im serious, if my parents just LEFT the country for 4 months, i dont think you realize
how much more popular i would be- maybe for the wrong reasons- but i'd still have a lot
of highschool friends..i wouldn't have to worry about going to high school and being
scared, seeing a whole bunch of people i know- because all of the hot high school guys
that went to my mad everyday-at-elizabeths-house-partying-it-up-madly would know me!
oh my GOD i want my parents to leave....
my brother's could not be more fucking assholes. i swear JUST today this is what
john said to me:
"you're more of an ashlee simpson then jessica simpson, why do you WEAR that trucker hat?"
"go work out or something...saddlebags"
"you're like anorexic, why wont you eat anything?"
"you're depressed- go find some friends who want you"
"you're a slut, elizabeth"
just today. just fucking today. way to make me happy john patrick...
i need to go in my room and listen to some music and just think for awhile,
i hate being alone and yet i can't find myself leaving my house...
xoxo
-liz